Sony and Marvel deciding to share Spider-Man is beyond awesome. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of, ever since Marvel Studios started making movies.
Now, one can presume that most if not all of Spidey’s supporting cast and villains come along with this deal. He has some great villains, but for every Green Goblin (and there’s like five), there’s a Cardiac. There’s plenty of Z-list bad guys in Spider-Man’s rogues’ galley, but in a world where Blizzard of all people appears not once but twice on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., maybe some of these goons will get their time in the sun.
That being said, let’s take a look at four characters that are probably too ridiculous to make the cut.
White Rabbit: Having more in common with Batman villains than Spider-Man villains, White Rabbit has no actual super powers, and mostly relies in gimmicks like a carrot-shooting umbrella and robot rabbits. When your aesthetic is Lewis Carol and one of your nemeses is Frog-Man, you have made a disastrous go as a villain.
Swarm: Swarm is a mass of Nazi bees. Seriously. From Wikipedia:
Fritz von Meyer was born in Leipzig, Germany and became one of Hitler’s top scientists. Escaping capture after World War II, he became a beekeeper or apiarist in South America, and discovered a colony of mutated bees. Intrigued by their intelligence and passive nature, von Meyer attempted to enslave the queen bee, but failed and the bees devoured him, leaving only his skeleton. The unique qualities of the bees caused his consciousness to be absorbed into them, allowing von Meyer to manipulate the hive to do his will, although some of his skeletal remains are inside the swarm itself. His consciousness merged with the swarm to the extent that they become one being.
Nazi bees, ladies and gentleman.
Rocket Racer: A hard-luck case with big brains, Robert Farrell used his intelligence to turn to crime to support his family, engineering a rocket-powered skateboard.He went legit eventually, but for a while this dude was racing around on a rocket skateboard committing crime. Yikes.
Big Wheel: Naturally, with a last name like Weele, there’s not much choice but to build a gigantic death-wheel and begin a life of crime. The Tinkerer, a slightly less obscure villain who is far more likely to appear in the MCU, built Jackson Weele his weapon of circular destruction after a deal Weele made with our pal Rocket Racer went south, a deal that resulted in Weele’s apparent death. Twenty years went by before he reappeared, dabbling in heroics, but Big Wheel remains one of the biggest losers in the Spider-Verse.
Peter Porker, Spider-Ham isn’t a bad guy. He’s just an alternate version of Spider-Man, but remains incredibly unlikely to appear in the cinematic universe because he is an anthropomorphic pig version of Spider-Man.
A boy can dream though…
