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47 Meters Down released a trailer a month ago: who knew?

Really, this movie is so little on the radar that its trailer got no PR and had been out for a month before I saw a spot watching the NBA Finals (widely known fact that basketball fans love shark movies nearly as much as they do seeing huge men throw balls from rings suspended in the air: fact.).

But we did know it was coming, in fact, we warned you about it last year. At the time, no footage was available, and mostly, I wrote based off wild assumptions that this film would be a ripoff of the Blake Lively shark movie, The Shallows. Well, now you can see the trailer, and who knew, I can predict the future. Same movie, trade out rocky outcropping for shark cage, you guessed it, 47 meters underwater on the ocean floor. There is one difference: there is more than one shark!

The trailer actually begins with the two girls saying “Best summer ever.” Cliche. Cliche. And cliche in a cliche movie. Just awful: this movie was delayed a year, having been spared direct to video release, because it is unabashedly, impossibly, the same as The Shallows, and its producers are relying upon human nature in audiences to forget that they saw this very same film just last year–only, at least that one had the balls to objectify Blake Lively and throw her in a bikini for a few blissful moments. Sorry Mandy Moore, but Blake Lively you are not. That’s why you’re not married to Ryan Reynolds, Mandy!

Take a look: will you see another shark movie? My guess is that enough of you will. Enough to make this a profitable venture for someone. And enough that there’ll be another shark movie soon enough: Jaws remake, anyone?

Watch for my review later this week as the film releases June 16, 2017!

 

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