Trailer: John Carter

Ok, first off, I need that Peter Gabriel cover of “My Body is a Cage” in my sex-parts ASAP.

More importantly, the first teaser for Andrew Stanton’s live-action debut, John Carter, is here for your looking pleasure. I’m a big fan of the John Carter of Mars series by Edgar Rice Burroughs (writer of Tarzan, don’tcha know), and this looks to be doing it some pretty good justice. The trailer doesn’t give away much of the story, and it’s completely lost that this is set on Mars for the average viewer now that they’ve dropped the “of Mars,” from the title, but here’s the short version. John Carter is a former Civil War soldier, drifting through the American West, that finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where races of fantastic being are at war, including ones that just look like re-colored regular people. Hence, the human-ish hottie that Taylor Kitsch will likely make sweet, interspecies love to. Truly, he’s a pioneer. His unique human physiology gives him increased strength and speed, hence the old-school Superman jump he’s doing in the trailer there. The science isn’t terribly realistic, but it’s based off a pulp novel from the late 1800s. Roll with it.

I’m really pumped for this one, guys. With every big picture coming out next year, this one has the potential to surprise us all when it releases March 9th.