By Two steps forward, one step back.
Through The Expendables, I’d finally made peace with the abomination that was Dolph Lundgren’s The Punisher. The original attempt to make a movie about Marvel’s resident anti-hero Frank Castle was, if nothing else, a train wreck. He didn’t even have the Punisher’s trademark skull! Anyways, The Expendables was awesome enough that it made up for this earlier folly, but Dolph has decided to make me burn with the rage of a Red Lantern once again.
Apparently Lundgren doesn’t know about how terrible Uwe Boll is as a person, or doesn’t know how horrific his movies are, or maybe Expendables co-star Jason Statham is just playing a really mean joke, but Lundgren will be appearing in Boll’s Dungeon Siege sequel. If you listen closely, you can actually hear my brain bubbling with fury.
When reading a script, when do you get to the point where you put it down, walk away, and douche your mind? Is it the medieval setting? No, that’s fairly standard. Is it the time-travel? That’s not so bad, I suppose. Is it the ninjas? …wait, what? Join me after the jump for more on these shenanigans.
Two steps forward, one step back.
Through The Expendables, I’d finally made peace with the abomination that was Dolph Lundgren’s The Punisher. The original attempt to make a movie about Marvel’s resident anti-hero Frank Castle was, if nothing else, a train wreck. He didn’t even have the Punisher’s trademark skull! Anyways, The Expendables was awesome enough that it made up for this earlier folly, but Dolph has decided to make me burn with the rage of a Red Lantern once again.
Apparently Lundgren doesn’t know about how terrible Uwe Boll is as a person, or doesn’t know how horrific his movies are, or maybe Expendables co-star Jason Statham is just playing a really mean joke, but Lundgren will be appearing in Boll’s Dungeon Siege sequel. If you listen closely, you can actually hear my brain bubbling with fury.
When reading a script, when do you get to the point where you put it down, walk away, and douche your mind? Is it the medieval setting? No, that’s fairly standard. Is it the time-travel? That’s not so bad, I suppose. Is it the ninjas? …wait, what? Join me after the jump for more on these shenanigans.{{page_break}}
Boll explains it best(?): “It’s like contemporary, right now big city, and we have Dolph Lundgren basically being a cop or like a fighting coordinator working as this, and one night he gets attacked by ninjas in his house and fell with the ninjas into a vortex back in time. […] And then it turns out it’s like 50 years after the first part In the Name of the King ended, and Ehb is destroyed and everybody is dead, Jason Statham and everybody who was in the first part, got wiped out.” I know English isn’t his first language, but Jesus Christ.
Lundgren, equally as European, expounded on the part. “I play an ex-middle ages war veteran who gets f**ked up but he gets pulled into some sort of medieval power struggle, kind of gets a bit of a redemption for all his pains in service. It’s a role I just wanted to play. It’s fun to exercise my acting chops [sic] once in a while. I’ve got to get ready for Expendables 2.”
So is he from the present day or another part of medieval times? Does it matter? Hell no. Have you seen the trailer for Blubberella? Boll doesn’t care about film-making any more than I care about Olympic curling. Lundgren better kick a dude in half and then rip off his face and wear it in The Expendables 2 to make up for this travesty. The man has a degree in chemical engineering! He should be smarter than this.
[Via Filmdrunk]