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Five reasons why Zack and Miri Make a Porno isn’t so bad

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When we first came up with the idea of doing a Kevin Smith week here at Flixist, the first thought that popped into my head was the film Zack & Miri Make a Porno. Here was a movie I remembered seeing in theaters and thoroughly enjoying, yet all I ever hear about it from other people are disparaging remarks about it being sloppy, lame, and not really that funny as compared to past Smith films. So logically, I wanted to write a piece revisiting Zack and Miri Make a Porno and proving that it isn’t really that bad of a movie …

… but then I watched it again. 

Either way, I promised to defend the integrity of this film, and goddamnit, Andres “Bullybear” Bolivar is a man of his word. One way or the other, I was going to have to find some way to redeem it … or die trying.

It’s in the Z section

Seriously think for a minute how lonely the Z section is at the time capsule that is your local shop that sells/rents physical media. If it wasn’t for the bravery of movies like Zack and Miri Make a Porno daring to begin with the letter Z, the section would be Zoltan and Zatoichi all alone, bickering like an old married couple. It’s the same exact reason I will defend the Kevin James vehicle Zookeeper until my dying breath. 

Katie Morgan’s charms

Now when I speak of “charms”, I’m not talking about what you think I’m talking about (you perverts). Rather, I’m speaking on the sunny disposition of famed porn actress Katie Morgan that one can’t help but find charming. Yes, she’s your typical dumb blonde and her voice is recognized as a form of inhumane torture under the Geneva Convention, but the fact that she’s always “on” and she delivers every line with a sheer glee is enough to have you forgive the fact that she’s a terrible actress. Also, her big tits are always out … so that helps.

The Dutch Rudder

Seriously … this move is a stroke of genius. Not that I’ve ever tried it or anything …. SHUT UP YOUR FACE IS STUPID!

The loving portrayal of a gay couple

It’s an interesting dynamic to have a gay couple in a film that represents both sides of a stereotype. On one hand, you have Brandon Routh playing his character completely straight and normal, like a man who just happens to be gay. Then you get Justin Long, playing a cock hungry overly flamboyant nancy boy who speaks like your Aunt Mildred. Is it offensive? Probably. Do I hate myself for giggling like a school girl every time Long throws out the word “cock” and seeing Routh squirm in response to his crassness. Absolutely. Am I happy with the way my life turned out? …..

It’s a movie about making movies

When I watched this movie in theaters, I was but a bright eyed bushy tailed youth still going through film school. Because of that, I really identified with the fact that each of these characters were brought together with the goal to make a film. Even watching it now, it reminded me of the camaraderie and all the weird late nights spent working on shitty student films. It almost has that “make art” aspect to it, one that is almost immediately canceled by the fact that they’re making a porn and it’s a Kevin Smith film.

And there we have it folks! A list that much like Zack and Miri Make a Porno was haphazardly put together, short, and completely uninspired. WE DID IT YOU GUYS! DUTCH RUDDERS FOR EVERYONE!