By Hello there fellow, ah, Flixistentialists. Flixisticians? What exactly do you guys call yourselves? God, this is an awkward name. Anyway, hello, from your new publisher/editor in chief/CEO/head actor, Jeff Goldblum. Yes, you heard. I’m Jeff Goldblum, and as of midnight tonight, Flixist is wholly owned by the Goldblum Publishing Conglomerate. Ours is a simple mission: the best news, for the best people. And that’s you. Yes, you. Hello, friend. Allow me to drink you in with my intense, loving eyes. You can be safe here, don’t you worry. We know that times have been tough under the old regime, and I, like a great tribal god-king, have come to free you from your shackles.
Today begins the new paradigm for Flixist. You’ll notice only a minor change in editorial direction while I’m the editor in chief, but rest assured, you’ll still get all the, ah, color commentary you’ve grown to love from these rapscallion editors.
Thank you. Follow me on the Twitter at FlixistJGoldB, and I look forward to going on this journey with you.