By When last we heard from Tom Cruise, aka Jack Reacher, he had just released an itty bitty trailer to further whet our already dripping appetites for the impending release of the next adaptation of the Lee Child’s series. Along with the trailer, Paramount published a rather nondescript poster featuring hints of an american flag, a title, and some of the titular Jack Reacher’s shoulder and the back of his head (maybe a hint of a scar on Tom Cruise’s never-been-scarred-face).
Well, it’s been a month. You know what that means? New and improved Jack Reacher: Never go Back poster, baby! Finally realizing the error of their ways, calling the movie ‘never go back’ and then having a poster that features only the back of their star, the code monkeys at Paramount got their shit together and gave us a whole lotta Reacher front. And my does it look sexy. Hi there, Jack Reacher. My name’s Rick. Won’t you buy a girl a drink?
With the release of the new poster, we the widened editors and writers of Flixist thought it would be a great idea to drop some new tailgates that Paramount should consider to accompany the artwork. Without much further adieu:
RICK: “Now he’s got a gun.”
NICK (quoting Futurama): “Who needs courage when you have, A GUN?”
HUBERT: “Guns don’t kill people, this guy with a gun kills people.”
HUBERT: “Does this gun make me look taller?”
NICK: “Is that a gun in your hand, or are you just happy to see me?”
RICK: “Finger on the trigger, feet on the stool.”