By Kevin Smith is still making movies. He plans to shoot three (well, two and one mini-series) in the next year: Clerks III, Hit Somebody and Moose Jaws. But that’s not all! The elusive Smith released a rare public statement over social media, indicating a desire to possibly make a sequel to his 1995 cult movie Mallrats.
Flixist has gone the extra mile and has uncovered exclusive information into the process behind the decision making of such a reclusive mind. The following is a transcript of a tape recorded in Smith’s office on 12/03/15, by private investigator Andrew G. Harding. Profanities have been edited out for readability.
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Producer: Hey. Kev. You wanted to see me?
Kevin: I’m still a director, right?
Producer: You’re a podcaster. You cast pods.
Kevin: Yeah yeah, I know, I was just checking about the other thing. I’m really high.
Producer: Mhm. They still let you direct movies.
Kevin: Cool, man. Cool. Alright, thanks,
Producer: Hang on. Kev. What’s going on?
Kevin: *long pause* They’re making new Star Wars movies.
Producer: Okay, see ya.
Kevin: No, no no, hold up. You’re not keeping up. They’re making new Star Wa–
Producer: I really have many, many things I could be doing right now.
Kevin: Do you know how excited you are?
Producer: I know how excited you are.
Kevin: Exactly! Now imagine. Instead of new Star Wars…
Producer: …what? Kev, what?
Kevin: New Mallrats. Right? Riiiiiight?
Producer: You do know that’s not really, like, a thing anymore, don’t you?
Kevin: Everyone goes to the Mall. Ben Affleck goes to the mall. I live in his old house, y’see, so–
Producer: You’re booked for three shoots in the next year.
Kevin: Come on.
Producer: No! You don’t even have a script. Just hold your horses, okay.
Kevin: I’m gonna tweet about it.
Producer: Don’t do that.
Kevin: This is america, you can’t stop me.
Producer: You did Mallrats for a studio. You should really get approval before–
Kevin: Fifty.RTs in ten seconds, that ain’t bad.
Producer: Right. I’m gonna go now. Away from here.
Kevin: *a lighter flicks on, presumably to light a cigarette*
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For the sake of disclosure, I should point out that while making fun of Kevin Smith is one of my favorite things, I do love a great many of his movies and a part of me gets excited for each new one. What if this is the one where it all comes back, huh? What if now’s the time?!
[via /Film]