By Premium movie channels make it exceedingly easy to avoid seeing the entirely of a movie, and the increase in films being shown on cable channels has made the problem even worse. Sure, you might see the middle of a movie about twenty times and perhaps make it to the end about half of the time, but it’s completely plausible through such channels that one would never, ever see the beginning.
This had historically been the case for me with Jingle All the Way, which I know I’ve seen about a dozen times on various channels. But watching it again made me realize that I had never once seen the first twenty minutes — a fairly significant portion of this 89-minute Christmas movie. I had also never seen it as an adult; my last viewing must have been ten years ago. So, after finally seeing it in its entirety and with fresh, mature eyes, would it stand up as an enjoyable exercise in Christmas silliness?Â
Premium movie channels make it exceedingly easy to avoid seeing the entirely of a movie, and the increase in films being shown on cable channels has made the problem even worse. Sure, you might see the middle of a movie about twenty times and perhaps make it to the end about half of the time, but it’s completely plausible through such channels that one would never, ever see the beginning.
This had historically been the case for me with Jingle All the Way, which I know I’ve seen about a dozen times on various channels. But watching it again made me realize that I had never once seen the first twenty minutes — a fairly significant portion of this 89-minute Christmas movie. I had also never seen it as an adult; my last viewing must have been ten years ago. So, after finally seeing it in its entirety and with fresh, mature eyes, would it stand up as an enjoyable exercise in Christmas silliness? {{page_break}}
Jingle All the Way is probably most easily identified now as the Christmas movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. In 1996, this wasn’t nearly as ludicrous as it is now; Arnold is governor of California, Sinbad is dead or something (he’s not really dead). After Howard (Schwarzenegger) forgets to buy a Christmas present for his son, he sets out to find an elusive Turboman figure. However, he’s met from resistance at every end, including a psychotic postal worker (Sinbad) and a recently divorced guy from next door who probably kidnaps women and kills them in his basement (Phil Hartman).
When you’re a kid, you don’t really notice just how stupid all of this is. The story and script really don’t have a lot of intelligence to them, which becomes increasingly evident as the film progresses. In the beginning, you’ll have to suspend disbelief somewhat as Arnold and Sinbad duke it out in a toy store that is seemingly devoid of security despite the hundreds of people lined up. But by the end, the film expects the audience to believe that a child and wife cannot tell that Arnold is the man in a superhero suit. You know, because Arnold doesn’t have a recognizable voice or anything.
Another newly evident quality of the film is just how little there is to it. It’s basically Arnold running around breaking laws and beating the crap out of people so that he can get a doll, which is entertaining and everything, but it also leads the film to conclude that Howard has redeemed himself and earned a happy Christmas with his family. If anything, the audience believes Howard to be less redeemable by the film’s conclusion. His complete inability to control a jetpack doesn’t help matters in the least.
At the same time, kids also often don’t realize just how awesome a lot of it is. The film was originally criticized because it focused too much on the commercialism of Christmas despite the fact that this is exactly what Christmas is. The film actually does a good job of mocking the holiday in a way that doesn’t detract from the fun and silliness of the film, which is something that a lot of modern Christmas films miss. Sure, it mocks the holiday, but it does it genuinely and with more heart than normal. In the end, the film draws the wrong conclusion about it all, but it’s hard for the audience not to sit back and marvel at what Christmas means to the film’s characters.
There are also a few scenes that are far too insane to be anything but fun. Watching Arnold take on an entire room of Santas is far more enjoyable to a mind that better comprehends what “Arnold” entails, and hilarious touches like Christmas-themed nunchucks complete the ridiculousness of the scene. It's a fun film to watch, but it's also exceedingly dumb fun.
Jingle All the Way really isn’t a good movie — it’s full of hokey and lazy storytelling, some rather awful dead-end writing and, worst of all, a completely unlikeable Phil Hartman character. If you’re planning to watch it this holiday season, do what the 12-year-old me would have: catch whatever section happens to be showing on TV at the time.
Overall Score: 6.25 – Okay. (6s are just okay. These movies usually have many flaws, didn’t try to do anything special, or were poorly executed. Some will still love 6s, but most prefer to just rent them. Watch more trailers and read more reviews before you decide.)
Jingle All the Way is really, really dumb, even for an Arnold comedy. But it's also a fun Christmas experience that tackles the inherent commercialism of the holiday without making you feel dirty and tired afterward. Watch it if it's on, but don't seek it out.
