By Secretariat enters the final turn of the Belmont Stakes, a wake of dirt behind him. The thunderous sound of his hooves slamming into the track seems to soften with each stride until there is no sound at all. Time slows to a crawl as the colt dashes across the finish line. The people are elated! This horse — this athlete — has just become the first Triple Crown winner in thoroughbred racing in twenty-five years. Nothing should be stopping me from jumping out of my seat and joining the masses in raucous applause as they show appreciation for this tremendous feat of courage and the power of the human (and horse) spirit!
…except that applause is coming from inside a movie theater. Â
Secretariat enters the final turn of the Belmont Stakes, a wake of dirt behind him. The thunderous sound of his hooves slamming into the track seems to soften with each stride until there is no sound at all. Time slows to a crawl as the colt dashes across the finish line. The people are elated! This horse — this athlete — has just become the first Triple Crown winner in thoroughbred racing in twenty-five years. Nothing should be stopping me from jumping out of my seat and joining the masses in raucous applause as they show appreciation for this tremendous feat of courage and the power of the human (and horse) spirit!
…except that applause is coming from inside a movie theater.
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Secretariat — as the name would imply — tells the story Secretariat, the race horse that won the Triple Crown of thoroughbred racing in 1973. For those not familiar with horse racing, to be a Triple Crown winner, a horse must be victorious in three races: The Kentucky Derby, The Preakness, and The Belmont Stakes. It is the pinnacle of achievement for the sport, and hasn’t been done since 1978. All of this info would be a great primer if, say, this movie was actually about horse racing. But the movie’s namesake is just a backdrop to what amounts to nothing more than a cookie cutter story of triumph over adversity.
The film’s true focal point is Penny Chenery (Diane Lane), a strong-willed housewife from Denver that must tend to her family’s farm and stable of horses after the unexpected death of her mother. Penny spends the majority of the movie sashaying from one clichéd moment to the next. Staring forlornly out of a window? Check. Having a heartfelt conversation with a loved one while they lay unconscious in a hospital bed? Check. Diane Lane navigates these moments well enough, but I couldn’t help but hear a little Veronica Corningstone in her voice as she repeatedly stands up to one of the dozen sexist male stereotypes the movie tosses at her like softballs at a batting cage.
Alleviating me from Diane Lane’s parade of monologues was Secretariat’s flamboyant trainer Lucien Laurin, played brilliantly by John Malkovich. It is without hesitation that I say Malkovich was the best part about Secretariat. Every line he speaks is delivered with delicious cynicism, and every scene he’s in is infinitely more entertaining because of it. The rest of the cast is mostly unremarkable, although I was pleasantly surprised to see Nelsan Ellis — known to most as Lafayette from the HBO series True Blood — playing the role of Eddie Sweat, a stable hand and Secretariat’s handler. James Cromwell and Fred Thompson also make appearances, proving yet again that they are go-to guys when casting rich, white, Southern men.
Of course, as much as this movie isn’t about horse racing, there is still horse racing to be found within its running time. The race sequences are fairly intense, even though the majority of viewers will be well aware of the outcome before they even drop the gates. The score is put to good work during these segments, although much like the rest of the movie, it is crafted from some sort of filmmaking jell-o mold.
As with most movies that are purported to be “based on true events”, you have to take the historical accuracy of Secretariat with grain of salt. Sure, the horse won those races, but everything shown in between is a sugar-coated, formulaic and mostly boring work of fiction.
Overall Score: 5.65 – Bad. (5s are movies that either failed at reaching the goals it set out to do, or didn’t set out to do anything special and still had many flaws. Some will enjoy 5s, but unless you’re a fan of this genre, you shouldn’t see it, and might not even want to rent it.)
Secretariat is every bit the feel-good PG rated drama you’ve come to expect from Disney. Depending on your tastes, that’ll either turn you off immediately or send you running to buy a ticket to the next showing at your local cinema.
Andres Bolivar
Overall Score: 4.75 — It’s hard to make a good movie about horse racing. If anything, let this movie be a testament to how much work was put in to make Seabiscuit good. Also, they never played Q Lazarus Goodbye Horses, just a bunch of oddly placed songs about Jesus. Read his full review here.