By On August 13th, I was faced with quite the difficult decision when I arrived at the local movie theater. Out in theaters that fateful Friday was The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Eat Pray Love. I, of course, saw Eat Pray Love. When I went to the theater yet again the next day, I was faced with the same conundrum only to finally decide on Eat Pray Love a second time. Fast-forward to November 23rd and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Eat Pray Love and The Expendables were all out on DVD. I once again, went with Eat Pray Love (I have a problem, I realize this and I’m seeking help).
It’s a new year, and with a new year comes new new opportunities. My copy of Eat Pray Love burst into flames due to repeat viewings, so i decided to finally give The Expendables a chance. Will my inner child be satisfied and love it or will I dislike it and be labeled a terrorist?
On August 13th, I was faced with quite the difficult decision when I arrived at the local movie theater. Out in theaters that fateful Friday was The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World and Eat Pray Love. I, of course, saw Eat Pray Love. When I went to the theater yet again the next day, I was faced with the same conundrum only to finally decide on Eat Pray Love a second time. Fast-forward to November 23rd and Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Eat Pray Love and The Expendables were all out on DVD. I once again, went with Eat Pray Love (I have a problem, I realize this and I’m seeking help).
It’s a new year, and with a new year comes new new opportunities. My copy of Eat Pray Love burst into flames due to repeat viewings, so i decided to finally give The Expendables a chance. Will my inner child be satisfied and love it or will I dislike it and be labeled a terrorist?{{page_break}}
The plot of The Expendables focuses on a group of American mercenaries tasked with overthrowing an evil dictator from the fictional island of Vilena. There's exotic locales, a slew of faceless thugs, and shallow romantic sub plots. Things go boom, buildings crumble, fake blood everywhere. That’s pretty much the gist of it without giving the rest away, but really who needs plot when you have guns, knives, tattoos and freedom?
Sylvester Stallone takes on the role of actor/writer/director in The Expendables, much like he has done with his most recent films (Rocky Balboa, Rambo). Though his extra responsibilities often result in a thinly spread mess of a film, he still manages to produce entertaining films that invoke a sense of nostalgia. I was taken back to the days when my film tastes weren’t as refined and the body count/gore factor were key ingredients to what I thought made a good movie. Though The Expendables was clearly written as fan service to anyone who’s ever loved an action movie from the 80s, it succeeds in a similar fashion by being cheesy mindless entertainment. The explosions are excessive, bullets abundant, and the ham factor is turned up to 11. It’s basically all you could expect from an action movie.
However, despite the warm feeling of nostalgia and injection of testosterone, one can’t escape the fact that this is an extremely shallow movie. Because so much was focused on the cast and explosions, everything else about the movie suffers. The story is severely lacking, dialogue is almost purely expositional, and the pacing becomes a series of happenstance that isn’t cohesive through it all. What makes matters worse is that the stellar cast of action icons was squandered, making all the previous faults irredeemable.
There’s no real character development or chemistry to the cast, making weak attempts at depth laughable. Any scene with the three main protagonists (Jet Li, Jason Statham & Stallone) come off as awkward and distilled. That’s not to say they aren’t great in the film, as Li’s broken English and Statham’s grouchy charm are used to the best to their abilities; but with such a power cast, I had hoped for the actors to play off each other more. The supporting cast of Mickey Rourke, Terry Crewes, and Dolph Lundgren make for some shining moments, but they are criminally underused, making this momentous collection of stars fall flat.
It still shocks me that a movie like The Expendables was even made. The concept sounds like a perverted idea of what 80’s American action movies looks like to outsiders, but yet it stays true to form. It’s one of those films that shouldn’t exist due to its grandiose ridiculousness and stuck-in-the-past mentality, but it does, bearing testament to the winning formula of patriotism, guns, and rock n’ roll. Despite its numerous faults, it’s an action movie, and action movies are entertaining. So in that sense, it was a success.
Overall Score: 5.70 – Bad. 5s are movies that either failed at reaching the goals it set out to do, or didn’t set out to do anything special and still had many flaws. Some will enjoy 5s, but unless you’re a fan of this genre, you shouldn’t see it, and might not even want to rent it.
By all means, The Expendables is a shallow movie. While that may sound like an insult, it’s probably the greatest thing it’s got going for it. Had the movie been tongue in cheek or satirical of the genre, the sacrifices in story, dialogue, pacing and chemistry would be excusable. Instead, it’s a poorly crafted film that takes itself too seriously, draining half of the fun along with it. It’s not a bad thing if you want to turn off you brain for 103 minutes, but if you’re looking for substance or even something poking fun at the genre, it’s not here.
So basically, I’m a terrorist.
