For all the ranting and raving people have done since the release of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice for the almighty Snyder cut that would rescue the film’s status in the eyes of its most loyal fans, we’ve been blind to the real fight, the true cause. There are cuts deeper and more important than any mythical Snyder cut. Listen, my friends. There is allegedly a butthole cut of Cats, and my god we need it right now.
A VFX producer friend of a friend was hired in November to finish some of the 400 effects shots in @catsmovie. His entire job was to remove CGI buttholes that had been inserted a few months before. Which means that, somewhere out there, there exists a butthole cut of Cats
— Jack Waz (@jackwaz) March 18, 2020
Does a tweet from a friend of a VFX producer undoubtedly mean that there’s a butthole cut of Cats? No, but don’t we owe it to ourselves, to society as a whole, to find out? We need to be stopping people in the streets, shoving microphones in their faces, and demanding, “Where is the butt cut?!”
Look, if there’s one thing the internet (and Bob’s Burgers and The Overnight) has taught me it’s that people love anuses, whether they belong to felines or humans. The beautiful thing is that in the case of Cats the motion picture musical, the buttholes are both! It’s a win-win, and in these trying times the small victory of a released anus edit of a bizarre musical is something we all need. If there can be a gore cut of Tammy and the T-Rex, anything is possible.
So for the love of god, please release the butt cut.
