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I've never seen There Will Be Blood and I'm not proud of it

(Editor's Note: After discovering the movies that the staff hasn't watched they've all been fired. We will rebuild with people who actually enjoy watching movies.) We've all got that movie right? The one that we keep saying we're going to w...

 
 
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Review: Saint Bernard

Saint Bernard is dreamlike moreso than most movies that attempt this distinction. Its journey of a music conductor into the mouth of madness works in symbol and metaphor with gleeful breaks in logic. Moments and places only mesh in that our...

 
 
 
 
 
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Yes dear friends, the Sonic trailer is worse than we expected

With all thing's considered, I don't think the first trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog could have ever been good. The character's reputation has been driven through the mud in recent years, so even if the trailer turned out to be outstanding ...

 
 
 
 
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Contest: Win a Blu-ray copy of Arrow Video's Terra Formars

Don't bug out with today's contest for a Blu-ray copy of Arrow Video's Terra Formars. You guys know me well enough to know I don't know shit about anime, or manga, or any of that stuff. It's just not my bag. That said, I do like batshi...

 
 
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I want to snort this trailer for Saint Bernard

Sometimes you see a movie that speaks to who you are at your core, a movie so perfectly in touch with your insides that you have trouble imagining that it's not an animated brain scan of your very subconscious--sometimes that includes a gi...

 
 
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Contest: Win a Blu-ray copy of The Greasy Strangler

Enter our contest for a Blu-ray copy of The Greasy Strangler. I don't have many words for this one, so just play along with me, here. I've got a Blu-ray copy of The Greasy Strangler. Why? I don't know. I'm just plain broken, I gue...

 
 
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Review: Norm of the North: Keys to the Kingdom

Why? Why why why? Why? Why why why why? WHY? Why are we here? Why do we live in the universe that not only gave us the original Norm of the North, a film so terrible that for a time it had a perfect zero on Rotten Tomatoes, but punished us ...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Charlie Sheen's 9/11 movie will actually be released

I'm not sure if this is hilarious or offensive or something else entirely, but a Charlie Sheen led film about 9/11 is coming out. The sheer idea of Sheen in any movie that isn't a satirical commentary on the man's own existence is pretty ab...

 
 
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Danny Elfman will score Justice League now

After Wonder Woman turned out to be so good I was kind of getting my hopes up that Justice League wouldn't actually be a total mess, but things are getting shaken up too much for me not to be worried. Obviously Zack Snyder handing...

 
 
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Tom and Jerry defile Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

To begin: Tom and Jerry are still a thing. Not like a retro thing, but, evidently, an actual, current thing that is created here and now.  What form are they taking now that they've exhausted every plot line of cat and mouse that ever ...

 
 
 
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Warner Bros. wants to reboot and relaunch The Matrix

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Warner Bros. wants to reboot The Matrix. Zak Penn (X-Men: The Last Stand, story credits on X2 and The Avengers) is in talks to write the reboot treatment. Warner Bros. reportedly wants to model the new M...

 
 
 
 
 
Review: We Are the Flesh photo

Review: We Are the Flesh

Reviewing We Are the Flesh from writer/director Emiliano Rocha Minter is tricky. On the one hand, it's a deeply flawed film aimed at a limited audience. It's transgressive in the extreme, sexually explicit bordering on pornographic, nonsens...

 
 
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Hans Zimmer is performing at Coachella BWAAAAAAM

Composer Hans Zimmer has a world tour planned this year, and he's added an unexpected stop: Coachella. Running from April 14th-16th and April 21st-23rd in Indio, California, Zimmer will be playing on the 16th and 23rd. These are the same ni...

 
 
 

These Inside Llewyn Davis trading cards are kind of the best

The Coen brothers' Inside Llewyn Davis is one of the great, unsung movies of 2013. It's bitter, brilliant, and ignored, which is sort of like its title character, come to think of it. I often think of the movie fondly and sadly. Maybe one d...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 




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Reviews   filter by...

Men in Black: "Oh, they have crap overseas too!"

 

The Dead Don't Die"Shambling wreck or full of brains?"

 

Shaft"Shut cho mouth!"

 

Diamantino"Ignorance is bliss"

 

The Fall of the American Empire"Big ideas, bad ideas, muddled ideas"

 

The Secret Life of Pets 2"A move with the attention spa... SQUIRREL!"

 

Dark Phoenix"Rising from ashes or better off soot?"

 

The Last Black Man in San Francisco"An ode to a home slipping out of grasp"

 

Changeland"Seth Green goes to Thailand"

 

Rocketman"I'm still standing"

 

Godzilla: King of the Monsters"Call me when they add Jet Jaguar"

 

The Cleaning Lady"Expect the expected"

 

Rondo"A little blood never hurts"

 

Free Trip To Egypt"Not a ploy to sell you into sex slavery"

 

Domino"Line 'em up"

 

The Perfection"A blood and vomit duet"

 

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 6 Episode 3 - "Fear and Loathing..."A weird space comedy you didn't know you wanted"

 

Aladdin"Touch nothing but the lamp!"

 

Brightburn"What if Superman was evil, but also boring?"

 

Made in Abyss: Wandering Twilight"May your journey overflow with curses and blessings"

 

Avengement"Bone-breaking Brits"

 

Aniara"How grim it is, one's detonation."

 

All is True"To die, to sleep - no more"

 
 
 
 
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