Happy Halloween. Let the Shape of Fall be upon us all. Here’s a list to celebrate Halloween. Here is our list of Halloween movies I consider the worst to best. My list is absolute and as such beyond contestation. But everyone has their own opinions so judge as you will. This is my list based on watching all these again. Some were more pleasant than others.
13. Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2
This movie is a painful uphill battle of a movie. This takes place several years after the first Rob Zombie remake. Well, ok most of it takes place later on. The first bit of it seems like it will follow the original Halloween II format and takes place in the hospital on the same night as the first movie but then jumps ahead in time. There’s not much to say that can redeem this movie. The characters are annoying and scream obscenities at each other instead of having character development. I could only stand to pay attention to so much of this movie. They gave Michael his first word…which was DIE. Well done. Some nice character growth there. He went from an unstoppable boogeyman to a hobo with a shotgun… er knife. This movie was a middle finger from Zombie to the studio and the fans as well, since he only did this movie when he was given complete creative freedom and I’m guessing a big paycheck. This movie does not bear mentioning in polite conversation. I’d give this movie a negative score if I could.
Also, what is with the white horse? Stupid metaphors that fall flat on their face.
Worst moment: When Michael speaks and everything about the white horse
Best moment: When it ended
Mask rating: Pretty good, but shows too much face
12. Halloween Ends
It’s hard to describe how much Halloween Ends fails as a movie. Did you want to see a Laurie vs Michael showdown? Me too! Does it happen? Yes. When does it happen? The last 15 min of the movie. Before that the characters are barely even aware of each other. Remember how Halloween Kills left on the cliffhanger of Michael killing Laurie’s daughter, Karen? It’s barely addressed and the movie seems to think becoming a house grandma fixes everything. Did you want to follow Laurie or Allyson throughout the movie? Too bad. You have to follow Corey Cunningham, a new character who is accidentally responsible for a child’s death, turning the town on him in Michael’s absence. This incident makes Corey so low on the social totem poll that even the high school band members can bully him.
Corey has moments that are redeeming or lean towards making him the Michael Myers successor but those are so few and far between it hurts. Corey is a strange choice of a character to follow. This trilogy never decided if it wanted to make Michael Myers supernatural or seemingly supernatural and this trilogy ender is the most guilty of this. Michael Myers lives in a sewer but seems to gain strength by killing. Interesting idea that is not explored in the least. They took a big swing in the 3rd entry of the reboot and it fell flatter than a pancake. A sad whimper that ends a potentially great trilogy.
Worst moment: Corey overpowering Michael for his mask
Best moment: The kills from Corey wearing the Michael mask in the junkyard and Michael in the grinder
Mask rating: Continues the reboot trilogy’s legacy of nailing the mask and aging it perfectly
11. Halloween Resurrection
I bet you thought this would be ranked last. Not so. Resurrection at least has the redeeming quality of being entertaining for maybe a minute here and there. It is not an absolute waste of your time, but it at least feels like a Halloween movie in brief moments before veering way back in the wrong direction. The internet angle mostly falls flat, but there are moments here and there where Michael feels intimidating. There are also the moments where Busta Rhymes imitates Michaels, does kung fu, and says trick or treat motherf%&ker, so yeah. I’d rewatch this for that moment alone.
I liked this on the first viewing. I mean it is the end of a great character… being of Laurie Strode. It undercuts the entire arc of H20 but go, team. Sarcasm notwithstanding, this has nice moments like where Michael spikes the camera to let you know he does not care if anyone sees him. He feels a bit intimidating but bypasses anything that matters about him being anything more than a generic slasher villain. This was directed by the same man as Halloween II and it doesn’t show. Everyone deserves what they get in this laughable retread.
Worst moment: Laurie’s unceremonious death and retcon of H20
Best moment: Trick or Trick motherf&%$ker
Mask rating: It is just a bit off. It is at least consistent (see H20 mask rating for context)
10. Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers or Halloween 666: The Curse of Michael Myers
This is one of two Halloween movies I had never seen before this year. I went with the Producer’s Cut of this movie since watching the first thirty seconds of the theatrical cut had so many quick cuts, flashing lights, and nineties music stings that I knew I wouldn’t make it through that mess. I’m not prone to seizures from strobing lights but anyone who is would feel it in that cut.
Halloween 6, woof. This is a comedy of errors, but I did see the cut that highlighted Donald Pleasance’s last credit and the man did bring it to material that was beneath him. If viewed as Donald Pleasance’s last acting credit you can take away that he gave his all to this subpar and laughable material to give it legitimacy. This features a fresh-faced Paul Rudd…so Paul Rudd, but with fewer acting chops. He got better. This is a weak conclusion to the awful Cult of Thorn storyline and is better left unseen. If you watch it, the Producer’s Cut is miles above the theatrical cut.
Let’s make it clear that the Cult of Thorn storyline was always a contentious and weak way to explain away Michael’s supernatural evil. I’ve always been more of a fan of the hint of supernatural, this went full “we possessed him as our vessel” magic. The disgraceful death of Jamie and its implications. Yuck.
Worst moment: Everything this sequel did to Jamie and the implications of where her child came from.
Best moment: Anything with Donald Pleasance
Mask rating: Good lord what is this? Screams of phoning it in
9. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
This movie has the gall to be a boring Halloween film and kill one of the best-returning characters, Rachel, off in the first thirty minutes. The kills are boring and mostly bloodless (I imagine due to the MPAA cracking down on horror movies around this time). The only one I remember when I think back on it from time to time is the scythe kill. Strange music choices, odd sound effects, and an odd performance from Donald Pleasance as a more overbearing and manic Dr. Loomis. Nothing like seeing the man who’s been chasing Michael Myers for three prior movies. He’s bullying a child about why she is keeping information from him. The biggest failure of this movie is the fact that they didn’t capitalize on the cliffhanger ending 4.
The best thing about it: The ending faceoff in the chute
The worst thing about it: Kills a great character, has so many fake-out jump scares, and has the worst mask in the franchise. They opted out of the crazy Jamie storyline.
Mask rating: Worst. Michael doesn’t need a mullet or to be confused for being asleep
8. Rob Zombie’s Halloween
This is a remake that both does things right and doesn’t understand the Shape at all. It does the right thing of not just being a retread of the original Halloween. It introduces some interesting aspects and you get to see Loomis as a more empathetic character before he gives up on Michael. Malcolm McDowell steals the scenes he’s in. The problem with those changes is that it robs Michael Myers of his entire mystique. You don’t explain why the boogeyman is the boogeyman, just like you don’t give the Joker a concrete backstory. The mystery and evil that lies behind that mask and those black eyes should be the nightmare you don’t want to face, not a kid from an awful family just screaming terrible things at each other all day.
I have nothing but loathing for this movie. Even the retread scenes aren’t better than the original. I’ll give it to Tyler Mane to be more intimidating and the majority of the cast give strong performances. Danny Trejo’s death, in particular, felt so mean. The bright spots are there, but there’s not much meat on the bone of this remake.
I do respect that Zombie chose to do something different in his remake, even if I disagree with a lot of it.
Worst moment: The rockabilly backstory
Best moment: Michael’s rampage through his old house trying to find Laurie/Angel
Mask rating: Excellent. Best since the original, at that point
7. Halloween III: Season of the Witch
This would be the second Halloween movie I watched for the first time this year. I know this entry got a lot of hate. How dare they try to do something different and have an anthology series that didn’t include Michael Myers. He only got shot upwards of twelve times, blown up, and burned to death at the end of Halloween II. For my money, it’s not terrible, but it wasn’t all that shocking to me either since the Silver Shamrock masks and their secret have been common knowledge for quite some time to the Halloween movie community.
They went with a Halloween story that involved Druids, robots, and witches… and the most catchy commercial ever. Good luck getting that Silver Shamrock song out of your head. It was an interesting turn that didn’t vibe with a lot of audiences. Tom Atkins brings a lot of charm to a character that could only be the hero in an 80’s movie. Did he stop the signal? We may never know.
Worst moment: Stonehenge and robots. Why? But also I’m here for it
Best moment: The kid’s face melting into bugs and snakes
Mask rating: N/A. The most popular masks are a pumpkin, a witch, and a skull. Really!?
6. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
This is the movie that brought Michael Myers back. Due to public demand, since Halloween III bombed, The Shape returned, despite his very permanent death in Halloween II. Michael Myers was now hunting his niece. He was informed via exposition orderly that his niece was alive, so he continued his quest to end his bloodline.
Michael came back and so did Loomis. Fire bombs in a hospital are much more survivable than we thought. Loomis has a great scene in a gas station begging Michael to leave the girl alone. He fires off shots and Michael disappears. Spooky. It was a nice return to form for Michael. It is odd after the events of Halloween I and II that people still doubt Loomis that Michael is pure evil. The movie introduces Jamie’s foster sister, Rachel, who looks out for Jamie and is a genuinely good character. High body count, including an impalement with a shotgun. It is a decent watch to bring back the Shape. It also ends on a cliffhanger that hints that Jamie will fall into the same pattern that took hold of Michael when she stabs her foster mother as Loomis screams “No!”
Worst moment: Bandaged Michael wakes up due to an orderly not having the patient’s notes about familicide history. Also dog murder. Shame on you Michael
Best moment: Shotgun to the stomach into a wall.
Mask rating: Pretty good, not the worst, not the best
5. Halloween II
More of the Night he came home! That was the tagline for this movie when it came out and it delivers on that. This was considered the best Halloween sequel for quite a long time, but it never really resonated with me. It does have the twist of Laurie being Michael’s sister which most of the sequels embraced and used to good effect. I always liked the idea that the Halloween 2018 sequel went with by treating Michael like a force of nature. A bogeyman who kills without an obvious motive.
This movie was written by Carpenter but was directed by the man who would later do Halloween Resurrection, Rick Rosenthal. Funny enough, Rosenthal wanted to keep the tone of the original, but Carpenter wanted it to be more violent. Carpenter re-edited the film to be quicker and shot some more violent material to follow the trend of slashers at the time. It mostly works for the kills. The characters are more on the annoying side this time around. The crass EMT who is a walking sexual harassment suit, the lovestruck EMT who has an obsession with Laurie, and…where the hell were all the people in this hospital? The hospital seemed abandoned and on Halloween?! That’s one of the top 5 holidays where hospitals get hit the hardest and there are something like 8 people running around and all of 3 in beds? The most unbelievable part of the movie.
This movie gets a lot of things right, mostly regarding Michael. It makes a similar mistake as Kills and sidelines Laurie for entirely too long. I always liked scenes where the sheriff is made aware that his daughter had been killed and all the fallout of the events of the first film. What can I say about that ending? That ending was supposed to be the end of Michael Myers and what a way to kill off a character. Exploded by his therapist as a last-ditch effort to stop evil in its tracks. I like some of the sequels that contain Michael after this but they had some explaining to do to retcon this. I think this is where the “killer isn’t dead unless you chop off their head” mentality came from.
Worst moment: Budd
Best moment: Michael and Loomis’ end
Mask rating: Technically the same mask from the original and yet it looks a bit worse. Still a good one
4. Halloween Kills
What an odd sequel this is. It does follow the tradition of Halloween II by taking place on the same night as the movie before it but tries to do a lot more things and only succeeds at a few. The mob mentality lesson doesn’t hit home like I bet they thought it would. The kills are still good though and that’s what most people come for. The visual of Michael coming out of a flaming house, weapon in hand is quite a sight.
There is one moment of great tension and it just illustrates how lacking the rest of the movie is in that department. The part where Lindsey is hiding from Michael after he has thoroughly done a number on the rest of the group she was with was executed very well. Even if the person with the guy who shoots themselves was silly. So much of the movie is about the characters knowing Michael is in a place and wandering around until he does his jump scare thing. That scene framed both Michael and Lindsey so that the tension was drawn like a knife. It wasn’t Hitchcock but it was a welcome addition. The image of Michael seemingly getting stronger as he kills is an interesting idea that is only barely touched upon in the sequel.
This movie looks better in the hindsight of the disappointing Ends. It’s a bit disjointed and has some strong elements that put it above some of the other Halloweens but overall it is a mixed bag.
Worst moment: Evil dies tonight
Best moment: Michael kills the firefighters with the flaming house backdrop
Mask rating: Great mask. Incorporates the burn marks and yet still looks the part
3. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later
H20 is the sequel no one saw coming. 20 Years Later, Laurie Strode has taken on the alias of Keri Tate and is the headmistress of a boarding school. I revisit this movie more than Halloween II. She is haunted by the memory of being hunted by her brother on Halloween and instills that same fear into her son, Josh Hartnett. This is the movie that initially had John Carpenter attached and only happened because Jamie Lee Curtis both willed it into being and said that Michael had to die in this movie. With the addendum, there had to be a way he survived. Ugh.
The ending to H20 could’ve been the perfect ending the the Halloween saga. It is only marred by the existence of Halloween Resurrection. The last 30 min of H20 are excellent. Laurie facing her demons and confronting her psychopath brother. She smashes the gate and screams “MICHAEL” and the crowds cheered. She then faces off against her brother, loses her boyfriend, has her son attacked, but then plants an axe in his chest. Think he is dead? Nope. She takes the van, rolls it off a cliff, then cuts his freaking head off. The perfect end to Michael and Laurie’s story. I hate that they made a direct sequel to this.
Worst moment: CGI mask and the eventual retcon that hurts rewatches
Best moment: MICHAEL! And the head chop
Mask rating: Which mask? there are like 3 that keep happening. Ok to terrible. They famously couldn’t decide on a design, even once filming had begun so there are a few versions and some CGI to make them look “better”. (Versions shown above and below)
This Halloween reboot is excellent. The opening sets the tone perfectly and the reimaging of Laurie as a survivalist does more for the character than the sequels do. Michael is just biding his time in the mental hospital, as he did before, and breaking out with the help of the most obvious character ever. The movie’s only flaw is Dr. Sartain. Why have this character? So unnecessary and he hurts the overall story.
The kills are great. The one take of Michael walking through houses was fantastic and gory as needed. Allyson and the family are used well in this. Karen faking the panic of Michael only to shoot him in the face is always a crowd pleaser. The chase through the house was great as well and the house being a trap is so inspired. The shots of Michael looking up as the fire consumes him are so good.
Worst moment: Cool kid and teen dialogue
Best moment: Michael puts on the mask
Mask rating: Best since the original. A++
1. Halloween
This is where it began…sort of. This was the movie that popularized the slasher craze, even though it wasn’t the first slasher per se, it is a classic for a reason. That opening, the score, the mask, and all the tropes we’d come to know and love. Do you drink? Dead. Do you have sex? Dead You say you’ll be right back? You were dead the second the last syllable left your mouth. Halloween is a masterpiece and my favorite horror movie of all time.
The score opens up on a pumpkin. The opening scene features a kid killer. What?! The fall setting and subtle scares early on set the stage. Halloween was originally called The Babysitter Murders, and it makes sense the more you watch. The instances of Michael showing up before he strikes, with the audio stinger, are haunting. The buildup to the actual violence is great. The escape from the sanitorium, the stealing the car, and the showing himself wearing the mask. He is The Shape.
Michael stalks these characters around the town and shows up in their lives to hunt them. He is a thing, there one minute, gone the next. He just does. He doesn’t seem to have a reason outside his drive to kill. It’s such an interesting idea to think the bogeyman-made flesh came to stalk Haddonfield. The shots showing Michael looking on, from a distance, are haunting. The kills, although minimal and bloodless by today’s standards are nonetheless impactful.
He haunts the suburbs, hunting, waiting, and killing. He keeps watching and waiting to make his move. He has the blackest eyes, the devil’s eyes. Michael Myers is the Shape. He doesn’t feel, he doesn’t change. He only changes shape.
This is the horror movie that made me love horror movies and is still my favorite.
Worst moment: F#&k you there are none
Best moment: Sticking Bob to the wall, Michael in the clothes, “That was the bogeyman”, Knitting needle to the neck, Stuck in the closet, The head tilt, THE SCORE.
Mask rating: The original. Iconic. Perfect
