By WARNING: This edition of Trailer Round-up may induce vomiting.
These trailers are a joke, right? I mean, April Fools is still a couple of months away. These trailers look like ironic parodies of awful movies Hollywood typically puts out. Unfortunately, however, I’m not laughing, and these trailers are very real.
WARNING: This edition of Trailer Round-up may induce vomiting.
These trailers are a joke, right? I mean, April Fools is still a couple of months away. These trailers look like ironic parodies of awful movies Hollywood typically puts out. Unfortunately, however, I’m not laughing, and these trailers are very real.
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Gulliver’s Travels
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEKDpc7U_5k
I don’t remember much about Gulliver’s Travels, but I’m pretty sure this is a faithful adaptation, right? Failed writer, KISS, robots – all the staples are there. There looks to be alot of funny voices, incessant scatting, fat stoner jokes and air guitar (which is the winning formula). You guys, I think this is the breakout role we’ve been waiting to see from Jack Black.
I didn’t think it was possible, but it physically hurt to be that sarcastic.
Zookeeper
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOI6dWssqbw
The producers of Night at the Museum and Night at the Museum 2: Battle of the Smithsonian bring you Night at the Museum 3: Zookeeper.
What? It’s not a Night at the Museum movie? Is it a spin off at least? Really? That just seems like a missed opportunity for brand recognition.
So it’s just Kevin James talking to animals? Sigh.
Just Go With It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7rQBreFM10
Remember in Funny People how Adam Sandler’s character made a lot of awful movies? Between Grown Ups, this, and the upcoming Jack and Jill, it’s just funny how art imitates life.
And Jennifer Aniston, I just feel sorry for her at this point. Like Old Yeller sorry.
As for Brooklyn Decker, I don’t know who she is but she has quite the “upper deck” on her if you know what I mean…
…
.
I’m saying she has nice tits.
Big Momma: Like Father, Like Son
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-aVuqsYIOA
Who asked for this? Seriously though, who did this? I’m pretty sure this goes against the Geneva Convention.
I expected more from Brandon T. Jackson after Tropic Thunder, but I guess all that hard work paid off now that he’s next in line for the Big Momma throne. Way to aim for the stars kid.
Friends With Benefits / No Strings Attatched
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFBTYZ6PYX0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USMFkOIk09w
I decided to lump these two together because they’re the exact same f*cking movie. I mean c’mon.
This slew of awful romantic comedies about casual sex will do one of two things: Convince women that sexing your buddies is an awesome idea or a terrible idea that has dire consequences. Do not f*ck this up for the rest of us, Hollywood.
If I had to watch one of these, it would be Friends With Benefits. I’m sort of interested seeing Justin Timberlake in a leading role and I find Mila Kunis way more attractive than Natalie Portman (honestly, I don’t see it). No Strings Attached has Ashton Kutcher, and that's an automatic no for me.
Plus there’s an opportunity for a ringtone in Friends With Benefits. I’ll leave it to you to decide which part I’m talking about. (HINT: 0:44)
Hall Pass
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIMYNVkZBSo
Though the jokes have been done (older gentleman getting high, awful pick up lines) and the premise seems ridiculous, I actually think this one might be ok. Jason Sudekis is the only thing that’s funny about SNL (god that show has become a sad shell of it’s former self) and both Applegate and Fischer are great female actresses with great comedic timing. Plus The Farrelly Brothers are doing this, and part of me just wants them to succeed because of their previous films.
Sucker Punch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyXzQLvOJnQ
In a word … Awesome.
I don’t really have a problem with Zack Snyder like most of you do. I thoroughly enjoyed Dawn of the Dead and 300 and I thought Watchmen was a solid entry given the burden he had of adapting the unadaptable. Now that he has his own material to work with, I have faith that Sucker Punch will be as epic as it looks to be.
I do worry that all the ideas presented in the movie will clash, but thus far given it’s Great Escape with kick ass women appeal, I can’t see this being nothing but entertaining. Plus, did you see that cyber samurai mech thing with a chain gun? I mean, how can that go wrong?
Looking at all these trailers, I realize that they’re painting this picture that men are shallow idiotic pigs who will lie, dress in drag and risk personal friendships just for sex. Not only that, that we objectify women, pinning their worth on whether or not they are attractive while we continue to look and act like mopes. It’s really making us look bad, and I as a gentleman will not stand as…
I’m sorry, what were we talking about again? Brooklyn Decker’s “decks” distracted me. Just go ahead and send any new trailers to [email protected].