By Been uber busy preparing for Harry Potter week. I’ve been tasked with providing my unique analysis (being that I’ve never seen the series), so y’all better appreciate that. Either way, I’m taking a much needed break from Hogwarts, so OCULUS REPAIRUS THOSE GLASSES FOR THIS WEEKS ROUND-UP!
Been uber busy preparing for Harry Potter week. I’ve been tasked with providing my unique analysis (being that I’ve never seen the series), so y’all better appreciate that. Either way, I’m taking a much needed break from Hogwarts, so OCULUS REPAIRUS THOSE GLASSES FOR THIS WEEKS ROUND-UP!
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Little Fockers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URJfwIIAZRY
Why on god's green earth is this happening? What did we do to deserve this? This is about as needed as a sequel to Analyze That. I expect this kind of sh*t from Ben Stiller, but I expect better from you, DeNiro, especially after Stone. Viagra jokes Bobby? You're better than this.
Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKeRrNG51Cc
Last week’s Trailer Round-up, I blasted Jack Black for his lack of range and how all his movies boils down to quirky scatting and fat jokes. Today, I eat my words, as it turns out that this also applies to cartoons.
Kung Fu Panda returns for another attempt to cash in. Honestly, I don’t care for any CG movie that isn’t made by Pixar, and I didn't care for the first Kung Fu Panda, so I doubt I’ll care to see this. You might say "But Andres, it's in glorious 3D!?". Ba humbug I say.
I have to admit though, the kung fu staring contest made me chuckle, and I'm rather mad that it did.
Season of the Witch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD0Yo-yZD5k
It never ceases to amaze me that Nicholas Cage still gets jobs in Hollywood. Good for him though.
1 point deducted for not using that “must be the season of the witch” song, another 2 points for not having any bees.
Blubberella
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt-DOdPLMLI
Bravo Uwe Boll, such grace, such tact.
Everytime an Uwe Boll movie comes out, I always think to myself “It can’t get worse than this, this has to be his last one”, and alas, Mr. Boll tops himself time after time. Ed Wood, eat your (dead) heart out.
Also, I’m surprised Nicholas Cage hasn’t resorted to doing an Uwe Boll film. Just saying.
Winnie the Pooh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbFz–GCkOM
I'm in. I don't care how old I am or the fact I will look like a pedophile alone in a movie theater filled with children, I will be watching this. The animation looks gorgeous and it quite meta with all the interactions with the text (who needs Alan Wake when you can have Pooh Bear, right?). I’ll admit I’m being nostalgic, but c’mon, it’s Pooh Bear. Just seeing him in a new movie almost brought a tear to my eye.
But I didn’t cry, because I’m a f*cking man, a manly man at that. After I saw the trailer. I punched a shark in its face and chopped up some firewood while Bruce Springsteen was playing in the background. You know, manly sh*t.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0TxYrTA1gk
There’s a lot of darkness and heavy breathing/whispering for a good chunk of the trailer, followed by a creepy lady monster underneath the sheet and Guillermo Del Toro’s name. You get very little from this trailer, so little it’s not enough for me to judge.
I must say though, I’m rather disappointed that this isn’t an Are You Afraid of the Dark adaptation like I originally thought it was. The Midnight Society could use the work.
Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc8Ntey7G5E
I’ve neither seen any of the movies read the books. All I know is it has something to do with a wardrobe and a Jesus lion. That being said, this looks kind of awesome. Maybe I'll reevaluate my stance on this series and watch it. Perhaps another LMV style marathon run?
Battle: LA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJZF5_RacQ8
I actually saw the trailer for this movie back at New York Comic Con. At first, I was hesitant considering there was a movie just like it coming out in a month (Skyline). But after hearing that movie was pretty bad (or rather lackluster), I'm looking forward to seeing if Battle: LA will do it right. Side note: I found out the other day that guy behind Skyline is being sued by the producers of Battle: LA because he stole the idea while he was working for them on the CG. Social Network Part II?
Also, I would like to take the opportunity to speak to those who complain that get dizzy watching found footage/first person films like these: get over it. Thank you and good night.