By What’s to be said about this weeks Trailer Round-up except it has a pink teddy bear on an epic journey, a murderous tire, and Tracy Morgan starring in a crime drama with Al Pacino. I checked the calendar to see if it was Backwards Day, turns out it isn’t.
What's to be said about this weeks Trailer Round-up except it has a pink teddy bear on an epic journey, a murderous tire, and Tracy Morgan starring in a crime drama with Al Pacino. I checked the calendar to see if it was Backwards Day, turns out it isn't. {{page_break}}
Skateland
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/241971
Starring: Actors fortunate enough to have feathered hair and that “80’s” look, some girl who was in Twilight.
Synopsis: Young adult whose life revolves around partying and working at a local roller skate rink must deal with the rink closing down and the fact that he might have to grow up … but not before one last hoorah of alcohol, drugs, and sexual infidelities.
Notes:
+ the 80’s were awesome, or at least the 5 years I saw of it were
– is pretty much Adventureland except with roller skates.
Comments: Really can’t help but compare this to Adventureland. I mean, the girl who's essentially playing Kristen Stewart’s role in Adventureland is also from the Twilight saga. I just can’t tell how Skateland will pull it off without Jesse Eisenberg’s neurosis and Kristen Stewart’s incessant lip biting. Still, it looks like an interesting coming of age tale, a genre that always interests me due to the fact I’m in my mid twenties and have yet to come of age myself.
Verdict: Makes me want to watch Adventureland again. If anything I’ll rent Skateland to justly compare.
Mother’s Day
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/241977
Starring: Jamie King, the hot redhead from True Blood and the return of Rebecca DeMornay.
Synopsis: Rebecca De Mornay and her sons hold a house party hostage, guests are forced to play Scattergories and trade gingerbread recipes.
Notes:
+ Rebecca DeMornay is still a fox
+ Last House on the Left vibe going for it
– Last House on the Left is probably still a better movie than this (original and remake)
Comments: It’s about a sick twisted family who commit heinous acts but yet the mother is so cute and motherly. Off-putting? Sure. Interesting? Not really. Also, I’m scared to see what happens to horror movies when they run out of holidays.
Verdict: Redbox it when you’re drunk and you and your friends have nothing better to do.
Bereavement
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/241967
Starring: A creepy guy wearing a cow skull
Synopsis: The touching tale of a psychotic killer who adopts (read: kidnaps) a little boy and shows him the way of being a generic murderer. Also, cow skulls.
Notes:
+ Might be the first movie I can really think of where the killer wears a cow skull.
– Run of the mill horror.
Comments: Seriously, how is it that the horror genre has existed for so long and yet no killer has ever used a cow skull as a means to disguise their face? I find it fascinating that it’s so obvious yet it hasn’t been done before. If I’m wrong, please let me know in the comments because I really can’t believe it hasn’t been done before. Other than that, the movie looks meh and I don’t understand why it’s called Bereavement.
Verdict: Skip it, invest in cow skulls instead.
Rubber
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/240573
Starring: Robert the Tire.
Synopsis: Robert is a tire who is able to ‘splode people with his psychic abilities, wreaks havoc upon a small dessert town
Notes:
+ it’s a motherf*ucking tire who explodes people’s heads…SOLD
– might be too ridiculous for it’s own good.
Comments: Unlike the previous horror movies (above), Rubber looks to be type of ridiculous fun that doesn’t take itself too seriously yet manages to be compelling and entertaining. My only concern is with how long it will take in the movie before the novelty of a murderous tire wears off. Hopefully it will have enough character to make up for such a shallow ridiculous concept.
Verdict: Will gather friends; go to local art house theater.
X
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/241969
Starring: Two Austrailian dandies mucking about.
Synopsis: Seventeen year old girl has worst first day ever as her first foray into prostitution leads to her witnessing a murder.
Notes:
+ X-treme title (see what I did there?)
+ nudity and neon lights combined with the sticky floor of your local theater provides for authentic strip club experience.
Comments: I’ve heard about this film earlier and was told it’s the next big thing coming out of the land down under, and after watching Red Hill and Animal Kingdom recently, the Australians seem to be on a roll. Either way, it looks to be an interesting thriller that looks to be visually captivating, and by visually captivating I mean there will be tons of naked ladies in it.
Verdict: Will watch by myself at the movie theater. Also, I will be wearing a long trench coat.
Kooky
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/240369
Starring: Stuffed animals.
Synopsis: An abandoned pink teddy bear named Kooky (I think) seeks shelter in a cold harsh world inhabited by other forgotten creatures.
Notes:
+ ADORABLE
+Though only the trailer, filled with charm and character
– No negatives, meaning there must be something wrong with it
Comements: I’ve been hearing a lot of hype about this movie from my fellow Flixistentialists, and let me tell you they were a 100% right. The trailer was just as charming and captivating as they said it was, and I for one can’t wait to see this wonderful journey with my eye holes.
Verdict: Rush to the theater ASAP.
Son of No One
http://publishers.springboard.gorillanation.com/admin/videos/new_edit/381/241963
Starring: Al Pacino, Ray Liotta, Channing Tatum and ….Tracy Morgan?
Synopsis: Channing Tatum plays a cop with a dark past faced with exposing corruption within the police force. Also, Tracy Morgan?
+ Tracy Morgan?
– Tracy Morgan?
Notes: Other than the fact that this looks to be your run of the mill NYPD crime story, Channing Tatum movies are usually sh*te and Al Pacino hasn’t been in anything of merit recently; the fact that Tracy Morgan has a serious role has got me hook line and sinker. Granted, I would’ve preferred Tracy Morgan’s first serious role to mirror Tracy Jordan’s role in Hard to Watch: Based off the book Stone Cold Bummer by Manipulate, but I suppose I’ll settle.
Verdict: Despite the fact that this is E.G.O.T. in the making, I can wait until it’s randomly playing on Showtime or something.