Trailer: The Lorax

I was originally going to write this article in rhyme, but after actually watching this trailer for the adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax, I feel more inclined to try and remove the AIDS-infested razorblades from my childhood. This picture looks like it’ll give Horton Hears a Who and The Dunwich Horror, a.k.a. the live-action Cat in the Hat a run for their money for the award for Missing the Point of Dr. Seuss. Granted, visually speaking, this movie does look like a Dr. Seuss book come to life. I respect that a great deal. That doesn’t mean the movie won’t suck like a Hoover.

Watch the trailer in HD if you must, but do yourself a favor and puncture your eardrums first. Maybe it’ll be better. If you watch this trailer all the way through, and you were as big a Dr. Seuss kid as I was (and kinda still am), you’ll probably need to be on suicide watch the rest of the day. Just remember. Danny DeVito cannot ruin your life.