Want to know if Ghostbusters is playing near you?

Because I am the master of all Internet Fact, I proved in my last article about the Ghostbusters re-release that if you don’t like Ghostbusters, you deserve to be eaten by wolves and stapled into a human centipede. Also, the staples have some sort of poison or disease on them. Maybe anthrax/ricin/smallpox. Whatever they have, it better be virulent and nasty. Anyway, you probably want to know where you’re going to find where it’s screening so you can sacrifice your firstborn to Bill Murray.

Here’s how you find out! First, you can go to their Facebook page and “like” it, whereupon you’ll get info on screenings sent directly to your Facebook “Wall.” They still call it a “Wall” right? I’m hip! You can also follow on The Twitter at @StayPuft4Eva and check out their main website.

I will take any opportunity to write about Ghostbusters. If you don’t like Ghostbusters, I hope someone murders you. Because your existence drains the fun from the entire world. You global-scale fun vampire.